Re:life with Karmic Gacha (Modern Family)

Chapter 150: Father’s day?

Camila was almost deafened by the music blasting from Edward\'s room as she entered the house.

"EDD!! Turn the volume down!" She shouted, but there was no answer. She was puzzled, and stomped up the stairs in an angry manner. However, she was a bit startled as she saw Edward slumped on the edge of his bed as she opened the door to his room.

She walked slowly and turned down the volume of the speaker, causing Edward to look up and notice her presence.

"Oh, you\'re back. How was the race? Have you lost your car yet?" Edward asked in a playful manner, however the fatigue in his face was undisguised.

"C-C-Car? I didn\'t go to Calexico to st-street race-" Camila\'s eyes darted around in a guilty manner, not understanding how on earth did her nephew know about her personal life.

Edward scoffed a bit and said, "Please. I had already known from the first time I got into your car. Did you really think that I am so naive, I wouldn\'t know what a nitrous tank is?"

"Umm..." Camila stammered for a while, but she couldn\'t find any excuses. She slumped her shoulders and said, "Yes. I went to watch a race. I didn\'t participate in it. Please don\'t tell your dad about this."

"Why would I? Next time, bring me with you. I wanna watch too." Ed replied, his spirit was lifted a bit from seeing his aunt\'s anxiousness.

"R-Really?Ok... S-Sure." Camila replied perfunctorily, wanting to move on from the topic. She sat next to Edward, and asked, "So, what\'s got you down? Is it because Abby left?"

"A little bit." Edward replied without changing his facial expression.

"Oww my poor nephew." Camila wrapped her arms around Edward\'s head and pulled him for an embrace, pushing his face close to her chest.

"You smell like motor oil and prostitutes- I mean, cheap perfume." Edward commented, causing Camila to raise her eyebrow in annoyance. "You want me to let you go?" she asked angrily.

Edward chuckled a bit and held Camila\'s arm to make sure she didn\'t. "No, no. I didn\'t mean that. I need this."

Camila\'s gaze softened, and then she asked, "Have you had lunch yet?"

"Not yet." Edward replied. As Camila wasn\'t at home last night, she didn\'t know that Edward hadn\'t gotten any sleep yet.

"Let\'s go out and eat something special, then we can get the large bowl of ice cream at the dessert place. How about that?"

"Sure. Imma go change first."

"Want to invite your friends to come with you?" Camila offered.

"I\'ll see if Enid is free right now. I especially need her energy." Edward replied, as interactions with Enid always boosted his mood upward.

...

-Jay\'s house-

"Is everyone coming tonight?" Jay asked as he sipped a glass of scotch at the bar.

"Jess(Yes). All family members will be here." Gloria replied as she put down a bag of groceries on the kitchen top. "I bought all the meat you want for the barbeque."

"And apparently a few other stuff too." Jay said playfully as he saw the Victoria\'s Secret bag on Gloria\'s hand.

"Ayy, you don\'t like your Father\'s day gift?" Gloria said seductively. "I was planning on wearing it tonight, but if you don\'t want it-"

"When the hell did I say I didn\'t want it? You can buy anything you want hun." Jay replied quickly and kissed Gloria on the forehead, causing the latter to giggle.

Then, Gloria became hesitant, and asked in a careful manner, "Did Manny give you a card yet?"

Jay replied solemnly, "No. And honestly, I don\'t expect it. Ah, also, his dad called him while you were out, he wants to take Manny out to \'have fun\' this evening, just the two of them."

"Javier? Did you tell Manny about it? I\'m afraid that he won\'t keep his word again. It\'s not the first time he has done this."

Jay sighed and said, "Manny was the one who picked up the phone."

Gloria blinked her eyes in helplessness, feeling as if a headache was coming in.

Manny suddenly walked into the kitchen from upstairs and asked his mother, "Mom. Is Edward also coming to the barbeque today?"

"Huh? We...I don\'t think he knows about it. Why?" Gloria asked.

Conflicted, Manny spoke, "Well if he is coming, I don\'t know if I would WANT to out with dad-"

"HE\'LL COME!" Gloria\'s eyes lit up and she announced before Manny could even finish his words.

"Huh? Really? Then, what should I do?" Manny asked with furrowed brows as he didn\'t know whether to choose his estranged dad or Edward.

Gloria pushed Manny from behind to move him out of the kitchen, "Ay, don\'t worry. If your dad comes, he can join us. Easy right?"

Jay was baffled when he heard it, but Gloria turned to him and mouthed, \'He won\'t even come. Don\'t worry.\'

...

[Edward POV]

Unfortunately for me, Enid had to spend time with her dad today, therefore I had to eat the ice-cream with just my aunt.

"What\'s with the look on your face? Are you not happy spending some time with me?" My aunt asked, irritated as she devoured her ice cream sundae angrily.

"Yes." I replied.

"You Jerk." My aunt cursed with a smile.

There were a lot of people in the dessert place, especially teenage couples who got together to plan their future summer plans.

"It\'s not you...but, I want to go to Daytona beach and meet college boys. So, it\'s better if we break up." A teen girl said to his boyfriend before he cried.

It was the perfect combination for me as I could enjoy watching some teen drama as I ate my ice-cream. Not to mention that they were all so absorbed in their own dilemmas that they didn\'t even notice my presence in the shop.

"Well, now that I think about it, it\'s really perfect that we both wanted to get dessert at the breakup place huh." She added.

"Huh? Why? Did you break up with someone? Wait, were you even dating?" I asked curiously.

"Of course I\'m dating! I\'m still young!" She replied angrily.

"You\'re almost 30-"

She threw her cherry stem at me, which I avoided skillfully and said, "It\'s not like I don\'t want to believe you. But I have never seen strange men traipsing around the house while I stay with you."

She rolled her eyes and said, "I\'m not that kind of woman."

"You mean, not having sex till marriage kind of woman, or after 3 dates kind?"

"Um...It feels weird talking to my nephew about these things, also ... the second one."

"Nah, don\'t worry about it. I was smart enough to know about all of this stuff before anyone even taught me. So, which bastard broke your heart?" I asked with a sly smile, causing my aunt to laugh.

"Well it happened in Cuba." She started sharing her story of how she got her heart broken just before she came back to LA. About how her ex-boyfriend told her he wasn\'t who she thought he was, and he wanted to end things as he needed to get back to his country.

"I thought I met the one, but instead, I was just his side piece." She sighed heavily as she wiped her mouth with a napkin.

"Oh, in his defense, you are a fine piece..."

Camila was flattered, but then I smiled mischievously and added, "...of work."

"AHH!" She gasped in offense, before she laughed.

"Are you dating anyone now?" I asked.

"Nah. I\'m still in the \'moving on\' phase." She muttered.

"Wait, how long did you guys date?" I asked incredulously.

"Less than a week-"

"No shit!- Sorry. And you haven\'t moved on yet? How good is this guy? He must be a beast in bed-"

Before I could finish my thoughts, she cupped her hand on my mouth to stop me. She glared at me and said, "We didn\'t even...sleep together."

My jaw dropped in shock before I asked with a stammer, "Th-Then...why? I...need to learn the technique..What\'s his name? I need to meet him."

"Ugh! NO! I don\'t want you to learn from that guy! EVER!"

"Then, tell me. Why?"

"Well... long story short...we clicked...There were no boring conversations. We argued, like everyone else but it felt...nice... I don\'t know. It was the first time that happened to me." She became embarrassed as she spoke, and avoided my eyes.

"And you guys didn\'t even have sex."

"That\'s what you\'re focusing on?" She asked, baffled.

But honestly, I couldn\'t believe my ears. "Damn...Did he actually tell you you were his side piece? Or was he married?" I asked.

Camila rolled her eyes and said, "No. But it felt that way."

"He could\'ve ended it because he\'s afraid of a long distance relationship."

"But he still lied to me."

"About what?"

Camila opened her mouth, but she couldn\'t answer it as she remembered that she left the table before her ex-boyfriend could even explain it.

"Ummm..."

"You don\'t know?" I raised my eyebrow, "He could actually have been a member of a secret organization, you know be a fed or something so he couldn\'t use his real name...or what you think he meant? But, hold on... they would need a reason to get close to you if they wanted to send someone undercover sooo... Do you have any secrets that would gain the interest of such people?"

"Ummmm.....I really don\'t want to talk about this." Camila widened her eyes as I spoke, and her face paled as she realized a few things. "I need to call my sister."

"You mean my mom?" I asked with a laugh. She nodded warily and asked, "You...want to speak to her?"

"Nah... Don\'t worry about me. And for future reference, the answer to that question will always be \'No\'." I replied casually before I took out my phone to check my messages. I wasn\'t in the mood to reply to anyone before, so there were a few notifications from my friends and also some from Pepper.

My aunt sighed and went outside the restaurant to make the call.

I finally saw a few texts from Haley. She was worried about me, and the last text asked me if I wanted to go to Jay\'s house this evening and join them for a barbeque.

"Will everyone be there?" I asked her, and got the answer in less than 5 seconds as my phone rang when she called me.

"Hello?" I asked warily.

"YOU DARE TO GHOST ME!" She shouted.

I laughed a bit and said, "Sorry, I was out with my aunt."

"Hmph! Are you okay?" She asked even though she was mad.

"I\'m better now." I replied with a smile as I was touched.

"I was wo- What is it mom?" She was distracted and didn\'t continue, and after speaking to Claire for a while, she asked, "Are you with my dad?"

"Huh? No. Phil hasn\'t come back from the Apple store yet?" I asked in confusion.

"That\'s where he went! He only told us he went with Alex to get some fruit. MOM!"

I laughed as I heard Haley shouting for her mom, and after a while, she said, "Sorry about that."

"No-No. It\'s fine. So, what time?"

"Oh...you\'re coming?" Haley said in a baffled tone. I was confused, "Yeah...You\'re the one who invited me?"

"Ah. right. Bring your swim trunks too." Haley said with an excited tone.

"A pool party? I\'m not in the mood to swim-"

"Then just eat and tan. We\'ll meet at 4."

"Can I bring someone else?"

"Depends on who you\'re bringing." Haley asked in a cold voice.

"Uuuhhmm ok, Chilling. I was talking about my aunt. Can she come too?"

Said aunt conveniently came back to her seat at that very moment, and tried to ask me what was going on with a few gestures while trying to understand the situation. "Oh, I was thinking of going to sleep after this. I haven\'t gotten any shut eye yet since last night."

"Oh. Shame then." I said to her before I replied to Haley, "So I guess I will be going alone. But I need to get back before 7. I have plans with my dad."

"Ah. the losing the lottery thing. Alright, I don\'t think it\'ll take too long. But I\'m not quite sure as Grandpa is the one grilling."

"Huh?" I was confused at first, then I remembered that Jay overcooked the meat in the series. I rubbed my forehead and said, "I see..."

"But don\'t worry. It\'s still good. You just need to chew a bit more." She said warily. I laughed out loud, causing Haley and my aunt to be confused.

"I\'ll see you there."

"o-Okay." Haley stammered before we finished the call.

"Look at you, all smiling and excited about meeting another girl. It took you only one afternoon to move on from Abby- ED! I\'M SORRY!"

My head and shoulders dropped as I heard Abby\'s name, so my aunt apologized and tried to cheer me up again.

"Ah. Wait. I forgot. Where\'s Dad?" I muttered as I got into the car with Camila to leave the restaurant.

She shrugged her shoulders to indicate that she had no idea, therefore I called him.

As he picked up the phone, I could hear some throbbing music in the background and the DJ announced, "Give a big hand for, Kimberly!"

"Dad...are you at a... strip club?" I asked incredulously.

I heard his nervous voice coming from the other side of the call, "Well...Yeah, but not because of the reason you\'re thinking of! I-"

"Ugh! Can\'t believe you didn\'t invite me!" I cut him off, causing him to be stunned speechless.

"What is it?" My aunt asked from beside me as she drove the car.

"Dad is at a strip club." I replied.

"Ed- I\'M NOT-"

"YOU DEGENERATE OLD MAN-" My aunt widened her eyes and cursed at the phone, causing my dad to be stunned again.

"I\'m really not! This is the only place that still has lottery tickets left. I went to 7 places, and it was all sold out!" My dad tried to explain himself, but I ignored him and said, "Dad, you shouldn\'t go to the stripclubs at noon. That\'s too pathetic. You should wait till the night shift. I\'ll come with you next time."

"You\'re NOT GOING TO A STRIP CLUB!" My aunt and my dad shouted at the same time.

"Ugh. Unfair." I pretended like I was pouting, which made my aunt stare at me incredulously. "Is Dwayne there?" I asked.

"Y-Yeah. He\'s here. Why?" Dad asked, full of wariness.

"Can I talk to him?"

"Not until I know what you\'re going to talk to him about." Dad said.

"Ah nevermind. I\'ll just add him to the call." I said as I called Dwayne too. He picked it up instantly, "Hello?"

"Dwayne. Since you\'re there, can you buy my dad a few lapdances on my behalf? I\'ll reimburse you later." I asked.

"EDWARD!" My aunt\'s face turned horrified as she heard me.

"What? I\'m just trying to give him a father\'s day gift."

Dad: ...

Dwayne: ...

The stripper: ...

...

Half an hour later, I was dropped off to Jay\'s house by an angry aunt. She still hadn\'t stopped scolding me as she kept trying to drill into my mind that \'women are not objects\', such nonsense... even after I told her I was joking, but that didn\'t stop her from giving me a lecture.

"Hey you made it!" Haley opened the door in excitement.

"I haven\'t even rang the doorbell yet. Were you waiting for me at the front door?" I asked teasingly. She blushed a bit and grabbed my hand before pulling me in, "Dad has just arrived."

"Hey ED!" Phil greeted me with excitement before he waved the new iphone box in the air, "We got it!"

"Oh-ho. Let me see it!" I walked towards Phil and Alex as they showed the new phone to Claire. "Nice stuff."

"Yeah, we went to 5 stores, just to pick the best one." Phil said proudly. Alex scoffed and said, "Turns out, the best deal was at the first store, so we went around town for nothing."

"Aww, don\'t be like that. Didn\'t you like spending some time with your dad, especially on...Father\'s day." I muttered, causing Phil to turn sad, and Alex to be anxious.

"O-Of course I liked it!" Alex replied through gritted teeth as she knew she was played. She mouthed to me menacingly, \'This is not over.\'

"Phil, it\'s the first time Alex is using a smartphone. Why don\'t you show her the features?" I instigated again, causing Alex to be flabbergasted. Phil\'s eyes lit up as he said, "That\'s a great idea!"

"Damn it!" Alex cursed in a whisper.

Then, I turned to Claire and said, "Luke told me he\'s going to follow a stranger if he has candy."

"NO I DIDN\'T!" Luke who was playing with Manny turned ashen, "You TATTLETALE!"

"LUKE! Is that true!" Claire asked, horrified.

"I\'m just worried for you Luke." I said with a fake concerned voice.

"LIAR!" Luke shouted, but Claire dragged him away to give him a thorough talking too.

"Why are you making trouble everywhere? The atmosphere was nice before." Haley asked in confusion, but not apprehension.

"Well I need a good show to watch to uplift my mood, plus this way we do get some alone time... Now, where are Mitch and Cam?"

She laughed, "You\'re targeting them now? They\'re by the pool. Let\'s go!"

Well I wasn\'t lying. I used to watch the modern family episodes whenever I needed a laugh. Now that it exists in real life here, all I can do is concoct my own episodes and watch them live.

"Hey-hey. There\'s the rockstar." Jay greeted me with a smile as he checked on the meat.

"Hi Jay. Happy Grandfather\'s day." I said playfully, which made him laugh. "I\'ve prepared something special for dinner today. A genuine Polish-style bratwurst."

"Nice. I can\'t wait. I\'ll eat that even if you overcook it." I muttered. Jay\'s smile froze and he said, "Why would you think I am going to overcook it?"

"Um..." I stammered, and turned towards Claire who\'s scolding Luke while making sure that Jay saw who I was looking at.

[Jay\'s commentary]

"So, no one is brave enough to tell me they don\'t like my grilling, and have to make sure a guest takes care of my feelings too?" He asked angrily.

[Commentary ends]

"I\'m going to go and see Lily." I avoided talking much to Jay as I grabbed Haley\'s hand and brought her to see her guncles. She almost laughed out loud and blew my schemes, so I need to bring her away quickly.

Mitchell and Cam were talking and in a good mood by the poolside. "He-Hey, Happy Father\'s day Mitchell." I said as I hugged Mitchell to celebrate him.

Cam\'s smile froze a bit, but he was still nodding along as he didn\'t want to blow up there.

[Mitch and Cam\'s commentary]

"Why not, Happy Father\'s Day Mitch...AND CAM? Why only Mitch? Does my stay-at-home dad status make him equate me with taking a more feminine role in this relationship?" Cam said aggressively.

Mitchell rolled his eyes and said, "It\'s because I\'m closer to him than you Cam."

[Commentary paused.]

I turned to Cam and acted surprised before I said stammeringly, "Oh y-yeah. You too. Happy Father\'s day Cam."

[commentary restarted]

Cam was crying in a dramatic manner as Mitchell patted him on his back, trying to comfort him.

"He thinks I\'m the MOTHER!" Cam exploded while sobbing, face full of tears.

[commentary ended]

I sat with Haley near the poolside, watching Mitch and Cam argue with each other, Alex was caught by Phil and he wouldn\'t stop teaching her, Luke was scolded by Claire, and a smile rose up in my face.

"You\'re Satan." Haley muttered teasingly. I acted shocked and said, "How did you know my name mortal?"

She laughed as we both enjoyed the chaos together.