Heart of Darkness

Roxana’s heart stilled, then accelerated, and then almost leaped to her throat. Panic made her freeze in shock but the heat of his body slowly warmed her up. She found herself breathing in his scent and liking his closeness. As much as she wanted to push herself away, she also wanted to stay there. Pretend that she was asleep and enjoy this one time that would never come again. And perhaps she would have, had she not been disguised and risked getting caught and beheaded.

Carefully, Roxana tried to release herself from his arms without waking him up. It seemed like he hadn’t been teasing her about hugging things. Just when she thought she would be free soon, his arms tightened around her causing a gasp to escape her lips.

“Where are you going?” He spoke his voice husky from sleep.

Bees and butterflies suddenly stung her stomach. God, she should be terrified to death but instead, she was feeling this?

“Your Majesty,” She put her hands on his chest and tried to herself push away. He released her immediately.

Roxana rolled away to a safe distance where he couldn’t reach her before she turned to him.

His eyes were closed his lips curved into a faint smile. “My apologies. I thought you were my pillow. You feel very soft for a man.” He husked.

No, he did not. Now he was certainly lying? Teasing?

Now she was in trouble. She should just forget about stealing and run while she could. Escape fast while she was close to the border. She had a horse and weapons.

“Your Majesty. I need to go get some water.” She said standing up.

“Hmm…” was all he said, still eyes closed.

Roxana hurried out of the tent. It was dawn and still a bit cold. The guards at the fire looked her way when they took notice of her and wished her a good morning in an almost too polite way. That because… they thought she was the king’s whore now?

She groaned inwardly.

Why was he doing this? He was making the rumors that apparently might not be rumors, to spread even more? She did not care for her reputation. She would leave this place soon anyway but as the King, he certainly cared. Did he not?

Returning their greetings she went into the woods. First, she needed to pee which would be such a hassle but she had done it many times before, and then she needed to undo her linen that pressed her breasts for too long. They were very safely secured. She had become an expert on how to do it but that also made it hard to keep it on for too long. She needed to breathe for a while.

Undoing them she went far down the woods along the river where she would not be seen if anyone else decided to come to the river. She washed her hands, and face and rinsed her mouth. Then she sat on a large rock for a while letting her sore breasts breathe, and herself.

What was she doing here really? Going on a trip with the king as his personal guard. That was unimaginable yet here she was and she even slept in his arms.

A frown settled on her face and a heaviness in her heart. She was beginning to feel some strange way that she didn’t like. Allowing herself not to think much, she watched the sky become brighter yet her mood remained the same. She felt disheartened. Defeated. She felt like she wouldn’t be able to steal and would never find her family. Somewhere, she would die while still on the chase. Die without ever holding her parents or sister again.

A tear fell down her cheek. Surprised she wiped it away. Jumping down from the rock, she wrapped herself again before looking to her right and to her left. The right way would lead her back to the King and on the left, she could go somewhere far away while she still had the chance. Roxana remained standing in place feeling torn. She couldn’t just leave without letting Fanny know. She might never find him if she left from here. But then, she might never find the chance to escape again. If she went right, she could be walking back to her death, not that she was sure left would lead to no death. Her life had been a constant danger.

Looking back and forth between right and left she just sat down again with a sigh. She was too anxious to make a decision.

“Rox.” The sudden call of her name startled her. She looked over her should and found Lord Quintus standing behind her with that ever so ugly and shady smirk.

Roxana was sure she never heard his footsteps in the quiet morning and how did he find her? Was he spying on her?

“My Lord,” She stood up and bowed.

He walked over to her side. “You wish to get away.” He pointed.

She blinked at him. “What do you mean, My Lord?”

“Well, you came this far away. Maybe you wanted some time alone.”

“Yes.” Was her short reply and then they were quiet for a moment.

“How did you find me, My Lord?”

His smile widened, “I love hunting. Following trails is my expertise.” He said.

She got the feeling that he thought highly of himself and she had learned that he was quite the rake. And she knew well about rakes. They looked very confident on the outside but they were only insecure people, with fragile egos that needed to be fed constantly. They used seduction as a tool to have control and power and sought to be worshipped in some way, perhaps because deep down they felt deficient.

Lord Quintus suddenly frowned, his eyes narrowing with a hostile gaze and his jaw clenching. He looked offended as if he could hear her thoughts.

“My Lord, is something wrong?”

His face twitched as if holding back his emotions. “No.” He bit off.

It was the first time she saw him like this. Without the smirk and she could certainly say that she preferred the smirk now. He was scaring her.

His face relaxed and he looked at her and smiled. A forced smile, she noted. “Shall we go back before His Majesty starts asking for you?”

She nodded and he walked off. Roxana followed him, feeling more uneasy than when he had that unsettling smirk.

“So how was your night with His Majesty?” he asked causing her to stumble at the sudden strange question. She would have to reply carefully as to not cause more rumors. She wouldn’t be surprised if Lord Shady was the one spreading them, so she was helping him unwillingly.

“His Majesty doesn’t seem fond of me.” She lied.

“What makes you think so?”

“It is just a feeling.”

“I rather think that he is very fond of you. He made you his personal guard after all.” Lord Quintus reminded.

“His Majesty is keeping me close to punish me.” She said and strangely that sounded like a possibility.

Lord Quintus chuckled amused. “It doesn’t sound like His Majesty to punish someone.”

“May I ask how long you have known him, My Lord?”

“Well, around two hundred years.” He replied sounding serious.

“That is a long time,” she said.

“Yes.”

“You look young and healthy for someone who has lived that long.”

“You look too feminine to be a man.” He retorted. “Sir Fulker’s punishment wouldn’t be too bad for you if you ever failed. A dress would indeed look good on you.”

Was he meaning to insult her? Before she could reply and probably dig her own grave she heard the splashing of water and chatter in the near distance.

“Seems like the guards came to have a bath.” He said.

She sighed not wanting to see a whole lot of naked men. She had seen enough and she never understood the appeal. Well until last night. Her cheeks flushed at the memory and her lips became dry. And just then a sight of nakedness she did not wish to see appeared in front of her. Clothes, shoes, and weapons on branches and rocks and naked men in the river.

Lord Quintus tossed his boots aside, getting ready to bathe as well. He looked her way she hurried to say, “I already bathed.” And then turned away from him.

In the distance, her gaze fell on the king sitting bare-chested on a rock in the river. A big guard stood behind him kneading his shoulder or rather breaking them. It looked like he was trying hard to tear his shoulders apart turning the King’s pale skin red.

But Alexander didn’t seem the least pained despite the fact that it looked very painful. He sat relaxed letting the guard try his best to hurt him and then he lifted his hand to stop him. The guard stopped and Alexander stood up from his seat. He motioned for the guard to sit down.

“Your Majesty, I am alright.” He said looking a bit uneasy.

Alexander gestured for him again and the guard sat down with a worried look. Roxana wondered if the king was truly going to give the guard a massage and so it seemed. He went to stand behind him and two strong hands grasped the guard’s shoulders.

The king pressured, and the guard’s face turned from shock to panic and fear. He grimaced in pain his face turning several shades lighter before becoming red. His veins bulged from holding himself back from groaning. It looked like he wanted to cry out from the pain while Alexander wore a smirk on his face. He was doing it on purpose.

He stopped before the guard could faint and the guard hurried to stand up with wobbly legs. He bowed, “thank you, Your Majesty.” He said and hurried away like a frightened rabbit.

The King turned his gaze to her and her heart skipped a beat. Before she could look away quickly, “Rox!” he called with a domineering voice.

Her eyes widened and she fought hard not to step back. “Come here!” He ordered summoning her with a finger and frightening her with a wicked smile.